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[18 Jul 2006|07:07pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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On the TV..country |
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I can't believe its actually happening. I'm falling for you and I barely see you. I don't know what it is and I don't know how to stop it from happening. You and I talk about everynight. And everytime we talk my feelings get stronger. You know me more than a couple of my best friends. You've been there for me through a lot. I don't want to stop talking to you, but if thats the only way to get my feelings to get weaker then fine I'll take that risk. Like you said we are only in high school and who know what will happen. But I wanna know what's going to happen. I hate not knowing. I can't date some of the guys that like me out here because I wouldn't be giving them all of me. And it wouldn't be fair to them but at the same time it aint fair to me. I truly don't know what to do or how to deal with it. When you and I don;t talk at night I truly can't get to sleep. Yeah that might be funny, but it's the truth. I truly don't care about what people say and think. I wanna be with you and I'm sure you wanna be with me by the way you talk to me.
For example:
+ If I still lived out there.[And of course someone would probably be dead]
+ If you were out here.
Everything just seems to be right when you and I talk. Why let immature people ruin something that you love and have wanted for awhile?¿
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| GRR!! |
[13 Jun 2006|05:38pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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MEN SUCK !!! THAT ALL I GOTTA SAY
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| Internet |
[01 Jun 2006|11:27am] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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Hey is anyone having trouble with Myspace? I will sign on and then I can't see if I have any messages, the computer says error or can't find the page.
OMFG I hate Myspace !!!
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| Hell Yeah!! |
[24 May 2006|01:19am] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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Ok so besides the fact that today was the last day of school... HELL YEAH!! It was also my friends birthday.
Well we went to the Groove and yeah that was intesting!! I say Dereck, Steven and Omid. It was pretty cool. Random guys just started dancing with me until I made Dereck MY dance partner that way I wouldn't get any creeps.
Well I gotta get some sleep.
Night Yall!!
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| The Biggest Question I have... |
[18 May 2006|08:09pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Ridin' (on the TV ) |
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I have to figure out whether I want to go into the Military or go to College for who knows how many years. I was in tears today I am truly that confused about this. I need to figure out if I want to go away for awhile and not see the ones I love or go some place where I could call them up and talk if things go wrong or if I miss them.
Can I truly follow so many orders and follow a schedule every single day in the military?¿
OR
Can I handle the classes that I would take and need to get my degree that I would like to get?¿
I don't know what to do or say. My boyfriend wants me to be happy, but I don't which one will make me truly happy.
OMG!!! I don't know!!!
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| GRR!!! |
[18 Apr 2006|02:54pm] |
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mood |
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GRRR |
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music |
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Mr. Mom |
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Ok so yeah today is probably one of the worse days EVER. First off its a year that someone and I broke up and yeah I'm still upset from it. Which sux cuz its been a year and I shouldn't be in this mess. But I am. So yeah today I pretty muched walked around like I'm going to cry. Well this day last year my heart got ripped into a bunch of pieces. I was until after first period wehen I found out something.
( William effing Taylor effing Bush )
Now my hearts is ripped into even more. How much more can you do?¿
Can you tell that I'm pissed
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| ZACK MOORE |
[17 Apr 2006|06:04pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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copperhead road |
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NOT LIKE YOU WOULD SEE THIS BUT STILL.
OMFG!! I SWEAR I AM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU TOMORROW. BUTTERS, MRS. RAUBACK OR SOMEONE BETTER HOLD ME BACK BECAUSE IF YOUR LUCKY YOU'LL STILL BE ALIVE.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES. BUTTERS AND CHRIS THROWING THINGS AT ME IS OKAY CUZ THEY KNOW THAT I WILL JUST THROW IT BACK AND GO BACK TO WHAT IM DOING. BUT NO WHEN IT COMES TO YOU FORGET THAT. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOUR PRETTY MUCH MY PUNCHING BAG.
IF YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T DO IT THEN WHY 'N' THE HELL DID YOU RUN?¿ BESIDES THE FACT I COULD SEE YOU SINCE MY HEAD WASN'T DOWN THAT FAR. I WAS ONLY READING MY BOOK [and yes I can read]. SINCE IT WAS A NEW PAGE I COULD SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON. AND YEAH I SAW YOU!!
OMFG YOU BETTER PRAY THAT SOMEONE SAVES YOU!!! AND I DON'T CARE WHO 'N' THE HELL IT IS!!!
ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS :
GRRR !!!
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[05 Apr 2006|05:05pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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Why is it when I finally tell someone how I feel they either get hurt or just don't talk to me afterwards?
See this is way I don't tell anyone how I truly feel. Because it pretty almost messes things up.
I guess thats what I get for saying whats in my heart.
Oh well.
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| In class |
[04 Apr 2006|01:36pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Class being dumb |
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Ok so yeah I'm in seventh period and we are in the Media Center doing work that we didn't finish last week. The class is retarded like always.
++ Ok that is whats going on ++
One of my friends likes me and yeah he kissed me on Saturday Night. I guess you can say I like him too. We talked online yesterday and he told me why he liked me. I really don't think thats enough to maybe go out with him.
I think one of my friends from Claifornia but he is still in California. Which sucks! I'm pretty sure he likes me too considering he dated my e-best friend just to get closer to me. Which I find that funny as hell.
I also may have a feeling that one of my ex-boy friends might like me again but I aint to sure. I tihnk he called my name at lunch but I was with two girls that has the same ending in our names as I do. So it is hard to know what he really said. I hope he does but at the same time I don't want him to like me again.
I'm pretty sure I lost one of my friends because that was shit going on that for some reason she keeps on holding back with her friends. But whatever it's her lost.
There is shit going on with the group I hang out with now. But I don't feel like saying that thing.
So yeah theres for today and the weekend.
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| WHY?!?!?!?!?!? |
[31 Mar 2006|05:07pm] |
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mood |
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crying like crazy!! |
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music |
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"What hurts the most"- Rascal Flatts |
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R.I.P - William Trevor Ball
July 25,1989 - March 20,2003
( What Hurts The Most )
You left! And you didn't even say bye. I had to tell you parents since your brother was telling the cops. I got to see your Mom and Dad cry. I had to be there when they told the rest of your family. The other guy still lives, when he should be dead to!!
IT'S ALL THANX TO HIM DRINKIN!!!
You never did that!! You hated the stuff!! You got made at me when I did it!! So why did you have to go??? I can barely talk to your parents without crying!!
You promised you would always be here, but I need you physically!! I don't know if I can do things that we used to do without you!!!
The ine question I have for god and always will is WHY?!?!?!?!?
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!!! YOU TRULY ARE MY BEST FRIEND!!!
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| laughing |
[29 Mar 2006|05:10pm] |
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mood |
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GRACEFUL |
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music |
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Fishin in the Dark, Garth Brooks |
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Ok so yeah this shows how truly blonde I am and can be. I was dancing on my hardwood floors. Line dancing. But since I have stockings on and socks that way I dont get a bigger blister since my boots are new. Well yeah so I slide everywhere. Well I has dancing and slipped and fell. It was funny. I would do it again but I think I would get a headache.
I fell as if i steppedon a banana peel. Like what you see in the movies. So if you wanna pick on me about this, go ahead.
XD
HAHAHAHA
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[27 Mar 2006|04:04pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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Okay so pretty much the last two months have been really stressful. Which sucks. Around the end of February my grandpa died. But with the funeral I got to meet pretty much half of the rednecks in the family. One of my Uncles would like to adopt me, which I'm all for that. I was able to go to California and see one of my friends since like the end of 9th grade. When I got back from Cali I found out that one of the girls who I consider to be one of my best friends and who pretty much acts like my daughter. She got into with this guy named Tommy. Who I swear is not right for her at all. So her and I have been going through drama for about a month. But I WON'T drop her, I can't do that. I figured something out about my ex-boy friend William Bush. Yeah I could have fallen for him. But he was the first one to open my eyes about things and liked me for me. He got to see the side that not many people get to see and probably won't see for awhile. He helped me realize that yeah I do belong here and that Florida isn't too bad. Pretty much he helped me bring out that redneck thats was inside me that I show now. I am going to tell him thank you for everything he has done at the end of next year. That way when I leave to go to Texas or the Military I will be gone for awhile and I probably won't see him again. But yet I still keep thinking that he will come back to me. I gotta stop that.
Bowling is insane. I'll have good games and bad games. I just have to work on my form and get trust back into my slide. Since I fell I don't have that much trust in it. I'm doing pretty good for right now but once I get my new ball things are going to be totally different. Since I have to go to summer school it's going to be a lot harder than usual. For some reason I just can't get my ball to go where I want it to go. I could be messing up but I ain sure.
For school. Yeah I hate it!! I have exams harder than a mother coming up. I'm not ready for them at all. Classes next year I figured out are going to be tough. But I'll make it through it. So yeah I really don't have that much to say about school. Today we had a fire. Right behind the baseball fields. Well Kaidee and I went to go explore. Which was really fun. It was funny too.
As of friends. Yeah talk about trouble. I'm in a group where half the people don't like each other. Which sucks because I'm friends with just about everyone. I have two friends that are just rivals out of all belief. They always do something to piss off the other. One of my friends who I happened to date doesn't even talk to me anymore. And he said that we still will be friends no matter what. Well looks like that aint happenin'. One of my friends who I've only known for a short period of time likes me and I don't want to take the chance of ruining another friendship.
So yeah that's pretty much running through my head right now. Except my parents have a stick up their butt and they need to get it out. But also I love you Amanda Sunshine and trust this hopefully won't come between us again.
<33
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| the one thing that ruined this day |
[23 Jan 2006|05:51pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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Ok so in one of my live journals it says that I cheated on Bush(ex). Well last night I was talking to the guy Chris who I did it with, and I found out that Chris was paid $550 to make out with me and then brag about it. Well that pretty much ruined the day. He said he didn't want to do it but since there was money involved he couldn't say no. Since the girl named Ashlie who I used to hang out with beofre we turned on eachother didn't like Bush, she wanted to break us up.
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| Saturday night. |
[22 Jan 2006|08:01pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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On Saturday I had to do that family bonding shit. Nto fun! We went ice skating in Maithland. There were a couple of hot guys there. There was one guy there that shocked the hell outta me. When I came face to face with him he looked just like Bush. When I stopped skating when I was just watching him and not his butt.lol....He skated just like Bush. He also had a body like Bush. My hearts dropped. I'm starting to think it was Bush but this guy had a clearer face than Bush so it couldn't have been. But it sucks so bad because I wasn't even thinking about Bush and then I see a guy that looks just like him and then Bush went right back into my head...):
Idk what to do anymore.....
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| friday night at cowboys |
[22 Jan 2006|07:31pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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Well Fiday night I was able to go to Cowboys. I went with Amanda, Brittany and Brittany's friend Sami, Sami's brother Jonathan, and a guy named Matt. He was cool. But I was having a lot of fun just being my crazy self. Which is always but whatever. Then Bush came over and played pool right by where I was standing. I really didn't care I was flriting with Jonathan. XD..Bush went on the dance floor to go line dance. I don't do that yet so I didn't try it. When songs I know I can dance to came on then we went on the dance floor and danced. Well Bush was able to see us since we weren't exactly in the middle. Bush kept watching me as if I were doing something wrong. Amanda kept telling me that he kept looking over here. I already knew and didn't pay much attention. Pretty much through the whole night he kept watching me. Well Amanda almost got into a fight, so I was pretty much running back and forth. By the end of the night the last two songs were slow. The first slow dance of the last night I danced with Jonathan. I looked over 'cause I got that feeling that someone was watching me and of course someone was. And it happened to be Bush. He kept on staring at me because I was dacing with Jonathan. He even had his back to me when he was playing pool, but yet still turned around and looked at me. I went back to my friends and didn't dance the last song. Our friend Matt was there talking to Amanda. When I came back over there she asked what was wrong and I told her. Of course Matt asked too and we just told him last year drama. He wanted to smile but I couldn't at least until he fell off the stool. I sat next to him and he just kept giving me the evil eye, but it was funny. It didn't even look mean. When we went to leave Matt came with us and ran right into a pole. HAHAHAHAHA!!!I don't think I have ever seen someone turn that red. But he just laughed with us. We left at the same time and he watched me get into the car. I wanted to cry but just couldn't.
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| just some info |
[11 Jan 2006|08:35pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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Hey y'all if you get someone named ca_mini_rdnck that would be my sister. She wanted a LJ so I decided to make her one.
So yeah just let all y'all know....kk....
<333
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| In pain |
[11 Jan 2006|01:57pm] |
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mood |
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soo much pain |
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So yeah Michael (tall mike) likes to smack asses. Well since I walk home with him he smacked my ass once and then ran and tried to do it again. Well since I used to blocking it from my dad and I being weird, I blocked it. He hit my wrist and got the vein the blow up (cant think of right word). Zach saw it and said that my wrist don't look to good. I'm going to kill him or I am just not going to talk to him for awhile. Went up to the old folks to ask grandma what to do about it. Well grandmas working so grandpa made me move it up and down and he pressed on it, so yeah now I am in sooo much pain it aint even funny. I almost cried when Mike hit it, but had to catch my breathe.
GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!PPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Cowboys |
[07 Jan 2006|11:46am] |
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Ok so instead of going to the party last night I went to Cowboys. It was fun!! My ex-b/f William Bush came and lets just say I had a lot of fun pissin him off. And besides the fact that his freshman g/f and her little friends kept giving me dirty looks. Lets jsut say I was pissed and so were my friends. I got to see my old friend Josh. We was messed up big time. He changed me and one of my friends to a dance off, but that never happened. This girl I met last night could dance really good. She took me up on a stage thing and danced. But I really couldn't stay up there that long because I had boots on. I should have worn my tennis shoes or my black flat redneck boots. But oh well I had fun just pissin asshole off. XD....well that was pretty much it for last night...I had fun
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caredneck33's journal
kinda pissed
